Oops!..

I learned a lesson last night. After work, I met with three friends and went to Ruby's for dinner. We had such a great time. Anyway, to make a long story short, we sat talking and laughing from 5:30PM to 10:30PM. Now, I am a Sprite Zero girl. Ruby's is not a Sprite Zero place so, I ordered Diet Coke. Of course, they offer free refills. Goodness, I have no idea how many glasses I actually drank. I just know that my glass was refilled every time it got 1/2 empty. Wow, caffeine high!

I am also a 9PM bedtime girl. So, being up and out until after 11PM is really unusual for me. Not being able to sleep, I got up and started reading blogs which included mine. In my last 2 posts, I noticed a few spelling errors and some of what I call, scattered writing. I went in and tried to do some editing and develop a more cohesive thought in my writing.

Lesson Learned! Don't try to edit at 1:30AM on a caffeine high. It doesn't work. I ended up deleting my last two posts instead of editing. I still do not know what happened. Actually, it seemed that I just hit a key on my keyboard and they were gone. Has this happened to anyone else?? Anyway, I'm not gonna edit after midnight anymore, especially when Diet Coke turns into a menace. :)

To those who left a comment to my previous posts, Thank you.

Diabetes and the Gma

I get bugged with so many things concerning diabetes. I have been in the world of diabetes for many years. But, never so closely as now. When Addy was diagnosed, the doctor asked me to perform the first finger stick. OK..well, I had been a nurse for over 3o years, but I responded with, "not me, no way." I have performed countless finger sticks from infants, to geriatric, to psychotic patients. I pride myself in my excellent technique. But, when it came to checking Addy's BG for the first time....I backed out. Jason, whom I am sure has never done a finger stick in his life looked at me and said, "Well, if I can fix a helicopter, I can do this." And, he did. I was so relieved that he stepped up to the plate. This is how Jason and Wendy have faced every challenge, every obstacle and difficulty that comes with having a child diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.

I still have difficulty accepting responsibility for Addy's care. When I visit AZ and Wendy tells me that they are going to take advantage of having a Gma available and therefore, they are going out on a date. I smile and say, Great!! I hope that you have a wonderful time. But, before they leave for the evening I make lists and notes. I double check everything, phone numbers, correct pump operation, snacks, bedtime, finger sticks and anything else that could possibly need checking. When they finally leave, I become the hyper vigilant Gma. Is Addy too sleepy, is she feeling OK, is she too active, is she hungry...is she, is she is she??? I love the opportunity to be Head Grandma for the evening. I love playing, telling stories, bath time, snack time... you name it I love it with these girls. But, I must say, no matter how much I love it, I look forward to Wendy and J returning home to resume responsibility again. Yes, I am an RN and yes, I have handled numerous wild emergencies, and yes, I feel very competent....with other peoples kids. When it comes to Addy and managing her diabetes, sometimes I feel that it is the first time I have ever heard of the disease. I feel so new at it. I know that this is ridiculous, but it is true.

I look at my beautiful Addy and in my heart I long for Addy without diabetes or celiac. I just want her to be like Kaelyn and Maya so much. I mean without these blasted diseases. I want a CURE! I just want to worry about a skinned knee, or a small bump, or a little fall. Notice, I qualified each of these situations. I don't want anything big!!

This is what I want. This is not what I have. I have something even better. Every night I praise Jesus for allowing me to have Adalyne with diabetes, celiac and whatever else comes her way. That Addy survived as a fetus, that Addy survived DKA is all so amazing to me. In reality, Addy should never have lived past 14 weeks of gestation. But, with all odds against her, she did. She survived DKA. She is living with many restrictions that bother me more than it does Addy. Addy accepts everything with her quiet "OK." Me, I am kinda obstinate.

I am so fortunate to have this wonderful child in my life. I am awe struck by her resilient personality. I have learned so much from her. I have learned to be grateful for everyday and every minute. I have learned acceptance. I have learned dependence on Jesus. Because of Addy, I am a better person. I am a better nurse. I am a better grandparent. I have a greater capacity to love. I have more empathy than I ever thought possible. Life is just better. I am one lucky Grandma. Oh, and one thing more, all of these issues that I have with diabetes, believe me I am getting over them. I will take on diabetes, celiac and whatever, because being Addy's Gma is more than worth it. It is a gift.

Thank you....

I would like to thank Staples of California, Maryland. They made Mark's last picture possible where all others failed. Staples took a brittle, dry, 30 year old piece of film and made a dream come true. Not only were they able to produce a picture at the last minute, but they made six different copies for me to choose from, loaded all six pictures onto a thumb drive, made four professional high quality photo's, plus a copy of the original, and sent me out the door. Thank you Staples from the bottom of my heart.